Jarren Duran on Netflix release, suicide attempt: ‘I’m still here, and I’m so lucky I am’ (2025)

Editor’s Note: This story features a description of a suicide attempt.

BOSTON — In the wake of Netflix’s release of “The Clubhouse: A Year with the Red Sox,” on Tuesday, outfielder Jarren Duran issued a statement through the team addressing his decision to reveal a prior suicide attempt in the fourth episode of the eight-part docuseries.

Duran, via the Red Sox, said he “found (himself) in a dark place” years ago but is “still here” and “so lucky” he is.

“Talking about this wasn’t easy, but it felt important,” Duran said in the statement. “I trusted the Netflix crew, and I knew that if I was going to share this, I had to be real about it. A few years ago, I found myself in a dark place, but I’m still here, and I’m so lucky I am. And if my story can help even one person, then it was worth telling. It’s that ability to help, to reach those who feel alone, that motivated me to tell my story. Right now, my focus is on the field. We have a postseason to chase, and that’s where my head is. I’ve shared what I needed to share, and I appreciate everyone’s understanding that my focus right now is on baseball and helping my team win a World Series. I am grateful for the tremendous support I’ve received. If you’re struggling, please know there’s help. You can call a friend, a trusted person, your doctor, or an organization like Samaritans. And, if you’re in immediate danger, call 988.”

Midway through Episode 4, which is entitled “Still Alive” and centers on Duran’s story, the outfielder makes the previously unknown revelation that he tried to take his own life early in his career. It became public Monday when a media embargo around the series was lifted.

“I got to the point where I was sitting in my room, I had my rifle and I had a bullet, and I pulled the trigger and the gun clicked, but nothing happened,” Duran told Netflix. “To this day, I think God just didn’t let me take my own life because I seriously don’t know why it didn’t go off. But I took it as a sign of like, ‘Alright, I might have to be here for a reason.’ So that’s when I started looking myself in the mirror, after the gun didn’t go off. I was like, ‘Alright, do I want to be here or do I not want to be here?’

“I looked myself in the mirror and I was like, ‘That happened for a reason. Obviously, you’re (expletive) here for a reason. So let’s (expletive) be the way you want to be, let’s play the way you want to play. Let’s live the way I want to live.”

In the series, Duran also explained that he had yet to tell his parents, Octavio and Dena Duran, the full extent of his mental health struggles. Since filming the documentary, he has, and his parents also issued a statement Tuesday commending Duran for speaking out.

“As parents, there’s nothing harder than knowing your child was in pain,” said Octavino and Dena Duran in a statement. “We only recently learned the full extent of what Jarren went through, and it was heartbreaking to hear. We are beyond grateful that he is still here, that he has found the courage to keep going, and that he is using his voice to help others. If his story can help even one person, then it was worth sharing. We are incredibly proud of the man he is today and love him more than words can say. We will always be in his corner.”

On Monday, Red Sox manager Alex Cora lauded Duran for speaking out.

“I truly believe that him opening up is going to help a lot of people,” Cora said. “It takes a person with courage and being transparent and genuine to do that and I hope that’s how we see it — that he will impact others and he’s going to save lives with what he did (in the documentary shown on) Netflix.”

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, you are not alone.

Samaritans Statewide Hotline

Call or Text: 1-877-870-HOPE (4673)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255)Press # 1 if you are a Veteran

The Trevor Helpline

866-4-U-TREVOR (488-7386) Support designed for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth and young adults